So it's been 3 years but I couldn't ignore the need to write...

It literally takes 3 minutes to get from my house to Winco. 3 minutes. How can my whole idea of marriage communication be changed in 3 minutes? Well Chuck can do that to you. He wasn’t talking about marriage actually he was talking about watering down the gospel and preaching what you think people want to hear. He said you don’t go to the Doctor who will tell you what you want to hear. You go to the Doctor who will speak truth.'

Can you imagine? 'Well this patient might be upset to find out he has 2 months to live....so I'll tell him he's fine!'

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want my husband to tell me what he thinks I want to hear. I want the truth, even if it hurts.  If he tells me what I WANT to hear I’ll end up making the same chicken dish once a month for 2 years! 2 years of chicken neither of us liked!!! All because he thought I’d be offended if he told me the truth. Now I would be lying if I said I always have wanted the truth from him. The truth can be offensive sometimes right? I mean when you point out someone’s selfishness or their lack of self-discipline that could definitely hurt them and that COULD hurt us. Done with callousness for their feelings or with wrong motivations Speaking Truth is a poison laced dagger.

Tomorrow I will let my husband know that I have been telling him what he wants to hear for almost 11 years. I’ll then ask him if he would like me to start speaking Truth to him. ( I’ve been sneaking it in every now and again, but not consistently.) Sure he might say, nah keep lying to me…. But I highly doubt that will happen.

Ruth A.

Gay Marriage the final straw

First of all let's pretend that it hasn't been over a year since my last post. I was busy and had nothing at all worth typing. Ok! Now that we've taken care of that, let's get down to business.

I was reading an article on the ever so liberal news site MSNBC about Chick-fil-A. I'm guessing we've all read something about this whole 'situation'. I LOVE to scroll to the bottom and read the comments and arguments for or against Gay Marriage. 'Christians' (and I say that with quotations because I'm down right positive most of them aren't) are out in full force defending the institution of Marriage and using slanderous, hateful remarks against homosexuals. 

The latest publicity stunt will be a 'Kiss In' at Chick-Fil-A where homosexual couples will bombard C-F-A and sit in the restaurant and kiss all day long. Outrage! Death threats! How appalling that they stage their own sit in at C-F-A like the Christians did earlier this week. (This is generally how most of the comments were worded. Someone even proposed a drive over gay people day.)

I read the article a couple of hours ago and have been mulling over a few thoughts I'd like to share with you. Here goes...

I see 'Christians' against Gay Marriage and they are willing to fight tooth and nail to 'save the institution of marriage'. They are horrified that this thing we hold so dear would be violated by so called sexual deviants.

I would venture to say that heterosexuals have done far more damage to the institution of marriage than any attempts by homosexuals to become married. Divorce rates doubled between the 1960's and the 80's. Dating websites were made to connect married people together for the purpose of cheating. Affairs both emotional and physical are glamorized on television and yes even take place in our churches.

So where were all you Marriage crusaders when divorce rates skyrocketed? Have you been divorced yourselves? Have you cheated on your spouse? Have you encouraged a divorce? Are you involved in pornography? ALL of these things are harmful to the institution of marriage.  

Let me be clear: I don't agree with gay marriage. I don't agree with divorce. (I know there are circumstances such as abuse where the victim shouldn't stay. I understand that, but that isn't what I'm talking about that. I'm talking about the 'we've grown apart' divorce.)

In conclusion, stop and look at your own hypocrisy before you condemn one group of people that need Jesus. You aren't willing to witness to them about the love of Christ and you'll bash them on Facebook. I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but if you feel convicted so be it.

No one will follow us to Christ if we are chasing them away with pitchforks and chicken sandwiches.

Are you settling for 'Good'?

I was listening to a sermon today from Alistair Begg. He has a sweet accent so every thing he says seems to be profound. Anyway, I heard him talk today about choosing things that are Best instead of just Good.

We can probably, should be able to, differentiate between good and bad. That usually isn't the hard part. But what if part of Satan's plan of destruction wasn't in getting us to always choose bad, but getting us to settle.

I wondered what kind of day we would have if always made the Best possible choices. There are plenty of good choices we make, but are we missing out on blessings because we are settling for something just plain good enough? 

Examples: There are lots of women who are good Christian women. But the best choice for me in picking a friend is someone who isn't afraid of confronting me when I am not living the way I should. 

There are not so many good shows on tv. But there is probably a best option when flipping through the channels. Or maybe the best choice is to sometimes hit the power button.

There are a lot of things to say to help lift up someone who is discouraged, but maybe the best choice is to pray with them.

I think Best choices is something that would take serious thought, consideration, and prayer throughout the day. You would really be intentional about the things you were doing, saying and watching. That sounds like a good day. No, a BEST day! But that is very easy for me to type. Maybe not so easy to do.

I am not really talking about every decision. Like pb and j or a turkey sandwich. I'm sure, unless you were allergic, they are both fine choices. But there are things that do matter. It matters how you talk to you kids. You might not have yelled, but you didn't make the best choice when disciplining them. (Yup, just didn't make the best choice about 5 minutes ago.)

Ok here is the real question: does the Best choice every vary? I would say yes, but of course you can disagree. Some days you might need to delay doing the dishes to spend some extra quality time with one of the kids who is acting out. But the next day the kids are fine and the laundry really needs to get done because no one has any clean socks!

Wondering how to figure out what the best choice is? Well good news! If you are a Christian, you've been given a gift! The Holy Spirit! John 16:7-8 says that the Holy Spirit was given to: "convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment". I think this is one of those instances where he can help us with judging the good or best choice. 

I don't want to miss out on any blessing the Lord has for you because I settled for something just 'good'. I doubt that you do either. Grab an accountability partner and set out for Best choices. I hope it makes your day!

Does God Hate You?

I heard a sermon 2 days ago by a local pastor on the radio. Yes I like listening to sermons on the radio. Anyway, he was saying God won't be up in heaven crying over the people cast down into Hell. The pastor said God HATES those who do not love him. I was kind of taken back. I was thinking that message isn't a good way to win people to the Lord. "Hey do you know Christ? No? Oh well then he Hates you." 

Then I started thinking about if it was a true statement. I did some research. Here is what I found.

Psalm 5:4-6 

⁴ For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome. ⁵ The arrogant cannot stand in your presence. You hate all who do wrong; ⁶ you destroy those who tell lies. The bloodthirsty and deceitful you, LORD, detest.

In Romans where it talks about Gods Sovereign choice it says this, 

Romans 9:13 Just as it is written, 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.'

This was first stated in Malachi 1:2-3, and if I keep going with this we'll end up talking about God's Sovereign choice and I am just not smart enough to explain this intellectually.

Ok another verse that mentions God hating something is Pr 6:16 -19. These are the verses that talk about the '7 deadly sins' as they are so lovingly called. These verses don't actually say God hates a particular person, but the sins the themselves. 

Proverbs 6:16-19 

¹⁶ There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: ¹⁷ haughty eyes, a lying tongue,      hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,    ¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. 

We see that God obviously hates Evil. He hates those who are bloodthirsty; shed innocent blood. But I am not evil you say! I haven't killed anyone. Well it also says he hates Lying. We've all lied. No way around it. No excuses. We've all lied. But does that mean that God hates you?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say No. I can believe that God hates Evil. He has to. He is pure goodness and pure love. He can't tolerate evil. It is a direct contradiction to himself! So if you are a Christian, you aren't evil, you are a saint.

But that doesn't answer the question if God hates YOU! So you aren't a Christian. You don't love God. Dangerous territory I'd say. Well truthfully I think a lot of professed Christians don't Love God. Here is the perfect verse that totally go against God hating people. 

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 I would conclude that if God gave his sons life for the world, he doesn't hate the people he sent his son to die for.

Bottom line: God loves you. He wants you to be saved. He wants you to spend eternity with him. But if you decide not to believe in the one who wants to save you, you will be going to Hell. He can't spare you. That would be unjust. God is just.

Follower of Christ

        You know that in some countries it is illegal to be a Christian? Right. Of course you did. People are put in jail, families reject them, and they basically live out their life, however short it may be, alone. It is hard to be a follower of Christ when everyone else is Hindu, Buddhist, Islamic, Mormon, and Christian.

Wait Christian!? Um... yeah. I heard a sermon on 94.1 The Voice and it really got me thinking. It is hard to follow Christ no matter who or where you are. You might not have been spit on by someone in your church, but have you ever been judged for ‘going over board?’ Or have you ever judged someone for acting too churchy?

      I started wondering: What if my daughter told me she wanted to be a missionary in the Congo when she grew up. Would I say ‘Honey, if that is what God has for you then I will support you 1000% percent’? I doubt it. I would probably say, “Oh honey I wanted you to go to college and be a Doctor, lawyer, engineer…!” How about the son who goes to a deeper relationship with Christ than his Christian parents ever had. The rest of the family feels judged and think he acts self righteous. Or the husband who feels uncomfortable when his wife asks him to pray with her over their children at night. 

     It’s cool to be a Christian who isn’t too much of a Christian. It’s cool to go to church, maybe teach the kids class everyone once and a while. But that is it. No time spent with the Lord during the week or in prayer. You don’t witness to the lady in the cubical next to you. In fact no one at work may even know you are a Christian. Or at least profess to be one… He isn't a part of your every day life. Just Sunday life.

    I am sad that I have been apart of this. I am sad that my daughters might be ridiculed not only in school, but in church! Not that I can clearly see the lies I’ve believed about Christian Culture, I am thinking of to change my own environment. How do you start a Christians being Tolerant of Christians Revolution!? That actually made me laughs a bit. We need to be tolerant of people’s (real, thriving, and obedient) relationships with the Lord even if it makes us uncomfortable. Now that I think a little more, maybe tolerant isn’t the word I’m looking for. We shouldn’t just accept someone’s relationship with the Lord, we should be jealous for our own thriving relationship with Christ.

Don’t feel threatened or judged. Usually that means you feel conviction about something you need to deal with. So deal with it! And start living out your faith with actions instead of just words. 

    Need a good kick in the pants to get you started? Try Beth Moore’s Breaking Free or Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson. Get excited for the life and freedom that a life with Christ really brings.

Gender Roles

  I am old fashioned. Not just because of my name =) I believe Gender Roles exist and they exist for a reason. I believe that God created Man and Woman equal but really really really different. Both Genders are made in his image, but he has many attributes that he gave us individually.
  Lets talk Television shall we? I HATE sitcoms where the wife is a condescending and controlling. Not all of the wives portrayed on television are down right mean, controlling, and crass, but I have think back maybe to the Cosby Show days to find one. The woman is always the head of the house hold. She is generally skinny and more attractive than her husband with a professional job. He is usually dense, overweight, and lazy. We never see a hard working man who takes care of his family and is the head of his household. (Think Everybody Loves Raymond, According to Jim, King of Queens and a load of other shows that I can't remember the names of.)
  A lot of girls my age think this is what marriage should be like. I'm sorry, but I can't be around someone who is constantly putting her husband down TO HIS FACE! They talk to their husbands like they are the star of a bad sitcom on ABC. I just don't think this is what our Creator had in mind when he established marriage.
   I think we need strong men. I think men need to take their jobs at home seriously. You will be accountable to God for your family. You have a rough job guys. I don't envy you. But you need to stand up and be men. Get some accountability. Be Spiritual Leaders in your house. (Bonus: it is way easier to respect a man who is worthy of respect) If you have a sitcom wife, then take back the reigns. If you are a sitcom wife, stop controlling your husband. If our men were actually acting like men, then women would be free to act like women.  Thank you to all the men and husbands I know who are actually doing their jobs. Thank you to the women who let them.

The Great Misconception

Have you ever witnessed to someone who knew the truth but wasn't willing to give up their old life? They are content with their sin, their chains, and their burdens. They are convinced that living an intentional life for Christ will require them giving up all they hold dear. Christians don't have fun. That is the great misconception. 

Oh boy do we know some Christians that scowl constantly right!? Obviously being a Christian means you have to eat Bran flakes for breakfast everyday and watch Touched By An Angel reruns every Saturday night. I'm sorry but that is just not true! 

Lets face it. I am a fun person. I crack jokes, know a lot of useless facts (that ones for you MW) and I laugh a whole lot. Knowing who I am living life for doesn't change my personality. It changes what I joke and laugh about. 

Being (not just saying you are) a Christian does change you. You will give things up. No doubt about that. You can't keep living your old life once you accept the truth. But giving up things is hard right!? Sometimes yes. But sometimes No. As you start to conform your thoughts and your will to what God has for you, you find you aren't as concerned with those 'worldly things'. Don't expect over night success though. This is a process.

Would you like a personal example? I was a huge Gleek. I never missed an episode. I bought the first season! I loved Glee. Then after two of the main homosexual characters kissed, I was kinda like...ew. I was convicted to stop watching the show. So I didn't watch another episode after that. I've been told that there wasn't anymore guys kissing and it isn't that bad. I saw the previews for new episodes and was really tempted to start back up again. BUT! I knew I didn't need to watch the show anymore. It isn't good for me. My personal conviction was to stop watching it period. Who wants to relive high school anyway!? So I'm done and sometimes sad, but staying strong. There are TV shows that I can watch without getting that ew feeling.

I know that is a cheesy example of giving up something. Maybe you are being convicted about giving up drinking or a relationship. That is a lot harder than just a tv show. But please let me encourage you though. When you start taking out the bad and replacing it with Godly things, you will ALWAYS be more satisfied. You will always find more joy (notice I didn't say you will always be happy) in life when you live according to  Godly standards.
I am not here to be anyone's conscience. I'm not telling you to stop watching Glee or drinking or whatever. BUT, if you feel like you should stop, then do it! Obedience rocks and I am free to have plenty of fun. Christianity isn't about what I can't do. Christianity is about what has already been done for me.