SHOCKED!

Tell me honestly. Did anyone think the rapture would happen on Saturday May 21? I didn't. I mean really. The articles made those Harold Camping followers out to be real nut jobs. And maybe they were... but we all know how the media loves to make religious people out to be lunatics. How about Robert Fitzpatrick who gave his whole life savings, $140,000, to Camping and his campaign. I can't help but feel bad for this guy! Then I kind of laugh.. but I mostly feel bad! 

I just don't know how they could trust this guy when the Bible clearly states that we don't know the hour he is coming back! And it won't be when you expect him. Check out Matthew 24:36-44. 

So here it is. My question of the day. Would your life be different if we knew WHEN Christ was coming? 

To answer my own question honestly, I Would be living differently if I knew the exact time and date Christ was returning. I would be living A LOT differently. I'm guessing we all would. But is that right?

We know he is coming. And some of us might feel like it might be soon. So why aren't we living differently, with a sense of urgency? I think urgency is a hard thing to keep up. I was thinking on Friday "There are a lot of people I should witness to if tomorrow is the last day for me on earth." I didn't make one phone call or write one email because I knew I wasn't going anywhere. But wait!!! I could have just as easily died in a car accident! 

We don't need to know our last day on earth to really witness to people. We really should be doing it every day. I heard a sermon the other day that basically said this: Why would you hide the most important relationship of your life!? You wouldn't tell your husband or wife, 'I love you' in private and pretend not to know them in public! If Christ is important to you than act like it.

Bottom line: We can't live every day like its our last day on earth. That would be exhausting and full of money spending and crossing of things off our Bucket List. But we can live every day like it is important to the salvation of someone else.

Thoughts on Depression

                                               What is it?

A state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies. This is diagnosed as clinical when someone has felt this way for at least 2 weeks. Not woke up on the wrong side of the bed, in a funk, out of sorts, kind of feeling that everyone has.

Who suffers from it?

David

"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak" (Ps. 31:9-10).

Job, just read the book!

Elijah in 1 Kings 19 – I love this story because the Angle of the Lord has Elijah eat and sleep to get better. Then he goes on a 40 journey, just after he had been asking for death! Our bodies are a temple!

A survey in 2009 showed that there was no evidence to suggest that the frequency with which one attends church altered or diminished the occurrence of Depression. Supposedly 25% of church goers experience depression at some point and 15% are taking anti-depressants. I couldn’t find any other sources to back up these numbers.

Of course there has been a significant rise in the diagnosing of Depression mostly due to pharmaceutical companies and psychologists lowering the threshold of diagnosing the ‘illness’. It is no longer ok to just ok. You have to good, or great when someone asks how you are doing. If you respond ok or fine then something must be wrong and subsequent questions follow. Our society doesn’t recognize normal emotional fluctuations. Bi-Polar seems to be thrown around a lot.

What are some causes of Depression?

* Situational Depression – Job, housing, family dynamics

* Sin – Guilt induced depression

* Exhaustion – I listened to Dr. Dobson yesterday and he spoke about his own father’s bout with depression. His father was a traveling evangelical speaker. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion and had to quit. It took two years for him to recover. He found that he needed an athletic outlet and took up tennis.

* Chemical Imbalance – which can’t be proved but can be medicated

* A God given emotion

* And for Women, a hormonal imbalance or issue like after child birth

* Distorted thoughts – such as; I’m not as good as others, My family would be better off, and other self destructive thoughts.

This is not a complete list! This is just what I compiled from my research.

What does discouraged mean?

To deprive of courage, hope, or confidence, dishearten, dispirit.

So I was wondering if we sometimes jumping to conclusions and calling discouragement depression. There is a difference. We can all be discouraged at times. I would venture to say that Jesus was discouraged during his time on earth. I don’t know that he was Depressed.

I took a poll on my facebook last night and I had 31 comments.

I asked is :Depression a sin issue, chemical imbalance or normal emotion. (I discovered and thought of a few more later on after my research)

2 said Sin

1 said both

2 said normal emotion

2 said situation

Another cautioned us against judging and a few more just saying nice topic.

Than it just turned into a long discussion after that.

Pretty much most people didn’t believe it was solely a sin issue.

A lot of the people that commented had dealt with it themselves.

No one here pays to hear what I think, but here ya go!

I personally have dealt with 3 of these for sure and I do believe that A Chemical Imbalance plays a part in depression. BUT not to the extent that social media, psychotherapists, and pharmaceutical companies say they do.

But what it all comes back to is the focus that I am placing on myself. Maybe you’ve heard it said that the best medicine for depression and self loathing is to volunteer time to a bigger cause like a Homeless Shelter or Animal Shelter. We have a hard time thinking about ourselves when we are focusing on others.

I have been on medication before for Depression. Looking back, it was probably situational depression. Someone I was close to told me that Depression was solely a sin issue and that obviously I had to stop taking the meds and do some serious praying. I did just that. Went off of Zoloft cold turkey and prayed. I don’t remember what lifted me out of that depression, but you can bet it wasn’t someone judging me and telling me what to do. No way! The church has a big problem with Depression and drugs. I heard someone say on Dr. Dobson’s program that the same people who take Lipitor and other drugs for various reasons are the first to condemn you for taking an anti-depressant. Church, why are we so judgey!? Why do we all assume we are right? Everything is opinion! Your opinion is not fact. 

How am I handling my depression right now?

1, I learned that my destructive thoughts played a huge role in my depression. I believed lies and was repeating them to myself all day! I ‘captured my thoughts’ and started living and believing Biblical Truths. I have Isaiah 55:8 is taped to the wall by my kitchen sink. ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD’

2, on those cloudy days I’ve sought the LORD with my whole heart. Making sure that I was walking closely with him and asking him to search my heart for any thing that I may have done that could cause me to feel this way today.

3, life continues. My girls still need me. I still need to get up and feed, clothe, and care for them. I have to choose to smile at them sometimes. I cannot just lie on the couch all day. It just isn’t an option! When I decide to be apart of life, usually, I find that things just aren’t as foggy.

4, This happened most recently. I was being disobedient. I knew I was. God asked me to do something and I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. For 2 weeks I was depressed. I knew what he wanted me to do and I knew that when I did, the depression would lift. So I finally sat down and obeyed. Obviously under great protest since it took two weeks. But when I sat there having completed my task, the cloud over my head was lifted.

My depression doesn’t happen as often as it use to. And when it does I am better equipped to handle it. But some days nothing helps. No amount of prayer, reading my Bible, and helping others lifts that fog. I don’t know what to say about that. I have no explanation.

The articles I read stemmed from a google search of the words depression and Christianity. There were many articles, but my favorite was from the Christianity Today Magazine. An Article in March 2009 called The Depression Epidemic.

Hope.

During the month of March my husband was still in Tax Season, our kids had 1 eye surgery, 3 follow up appointments, 1 neuro psych testing session, croup, and a broken collar bone (plus lots of time outs, fits, and early bed times). As I was driving to take Sydney for X-rays I was thinking how lucky I am.

Not for the basic stuff: house, car, job, food on the table and GREAT health insurance. But lucky that I know my life has purpose. Lucky that I know I have a creator who loves me and has a plan for my life and the life of my family. If I didn't know that there was a bigger purpose to my life, March might have be the death of me.

Jeremiah 29:11'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'

Even when I have a month like March, the worst month of the whole year if you ask me, I know that everything has a purpose.  I LOVE knowing that the Lord wants me to succeed! He wants what is best for me. Let me clarify, what HE knows is best for me. Not what I think is best for me. What he has in store is much better for me that anything I could dream. When I start surrendering to his will for my life I am much much happier.

I fell into a depressive state of mind for about 2 weeks. I know that God wanted me to do something I was too scared to do. I pushed it off for months. I got so depressed! I was reading my Bible, doing Bible study and praying. Doing all the things I'm 'suppose' to do. But nothing helped me out of the depression. I knew I was being disobedient. So when I finally sat down to do what I was suppose to do, the fog lifted. He rewards us for obedience. He definitely gives us consequences for heading the other way(ie, book of Jonah). I wasn't swallowed by a fish, but still!

So my next thought after how lucky I am was: What if you don't know God? What if you are just living life not knowing you have a purpose!  What if you don't know someone loves you more than you can imagine. I was instantly sad. No hope? How do you survive with no hope? I'm sure there are coping mechanisms. But nothing compares to the love of Christ.

A relationship with him doesn't guarantee an easy life. It doesn't guarantee money, friends, and health as some people preach (Prosperity Gospel). But it does guarantee you will never be alone. You will never need to wonder if you have been abandoned, although you might at times. It also guarantees the most important thing, Life. I won't go all fire and brimstone, and lake of fire. But trust me, heaven is something you don't want to miss out on.

Too Deep?

I spend a lot of time with God when I am involved in a Bible study or discipleship. I have homework to do or a lesson to prepare and I enjoy spending that time in the word. Then we have a 2 week break between Bible studies or there is a season where I am not involved and I suddenly realize its been 4 days (most of the time weeks) since I've even cracked my Bible. I was thinking yesterday, why do I do this? I really love learning and exploring God's Word. So why aren't I more diligent? Yesterday I realized it was because I was scared of going Deeper.

You might be thinking, "Why in the world is she scared?" or you are nodding your head in agreement... 

 I've always been a skeptic. I've also observed a lot of 'church people' in my 22 years as a Christian. (Yes I was 4) The people that I thought of as 'Deeper' always seemed to bug me. Announcing how many hours they spend in prayer a day. Or using to many Christian-eese terms. Or not being able to say one sentence without some sort of reference to themselves and their relationship to God. And they seem to push their convictions on to you! I can't stand hearing this sort of talk! It seems so self-righteous, self-centered, and well... just SELF!

Guess what I realized!? Those are personality flaws. Not a result of going deeper into a relationship with God. Our relationship is suppose to be PERSONAL! Not broadcast to anyone within listening distance. Not posted as your facebook status. And not rubbed in the face of people 'less deep'. Now I am all for sharing what God is doing in your life. But there is a difference between trying to portray yourself as deep and being deep. 

Oh and plus, what about the stuff I'll have to give up! I mean you can't try incorporate God in every part of your life then put him on pause at 8 p.m. because your favorite show is on. What if he doesn't approve? I've found that when I am going deeper into the word and what God has for me, I don't want to watch that show anymore. Read that magazine, or talk about that kind of stuff. I don't miss it! I know some things will require sacrifice, but so far it hasn't been something I'm overly attached to. Someday soon that will change. I'm sure of it.  

So I am not going to assume that I will start talking in Thee's and Thou's. I will take that leap. I will on a spiritual journey. I won't bore you in Sunday School with how awesome I am. I won't post every triumph over sin as my Facebook status. I will keep my personal relationship personal. If you notice a change in me for the better, that is wonderful. But I don't want to APPEAR deeper. I want to be deeper.

Lets Get Real People!

I am so DONE with excuses. Excuses for sin. Excuses for the reason why we sinned. Have you made excuses for yourself? Excuses for your spouse, kids, etc. I have. Madison didn't get enough sleep or Kenadi just misses her daddy and my favorite, Sydney is too young to know any better.

Why isn't this ok? Let me spell it out for you. Personal Responsibility. When you decide to call Sin something other than what it is, you are taking away personal responsibility. I've heard liars called 'dramatic'. I've heard people who stir up distention for personal gain are 'well meaning'. I've heard gossip called 'prayer requests', information, just girl talk. I've heard marital affairs blamed on the spouse who was cheated on. Oh yes this was at Churches. We are no different from 'The World' when we don't take responsibility for our actions.

How hard is it to say to someone, 'I don't need to know that'. Or 'I don't think that is true'. SUPER HARD! But man oh man is it effective! Call Sin, Sin! Gossip = Sin. Lying = Sin. Cheating of any kind = Sin. Be bold about this! This isn't a gray area. We just like to pretend it is by calling it something less ugly.

So here is my most favorite question about this subject: Why is Church Discipline reserved for 'Serious Sin'? If you were lying about someone at church and the Pastor called to talk to you about it would you keep on lying? If you were gossiping to a friend and she said to stop, would you? Even if it was just between friends, would you be brave enough to say 'Enough' to someone? Matthew 18:15-17 (below) outlines Church Discipline and it starts with a one on one conversation. It also says nothing about degrees of sin. 

I think we don't address stuff this because we don't want to hurt peoples feelings. Or those people are major contributors to the church, they are better than they use to be, or whatever reasons we can come up with for dodging confrontation. Have you ever seen a church 'Run' by a family or families? Have you seen people pushed out the doors of a church because they offended the wrong person? If the church wasn't so dysfunctional, sin wouldn't be sitting in the front row on Sunday. No body of believers will be perfect because it is made up of imperfect humans. 

But let us not be tolerant of these things. 

Sin is sin. No excuses.

Matthew 18:15-17

¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

After All Is Said and Done

We all sin. And since I believe we can't stop sinning until we arrive at Heaven's Gate, we'll deal with it for our whole life.  Sin is a choice. You could argue with me and have some valid points, but for the most part I think Sin is a choice. But what happens after that choice has been made, after the sin has been committed?

Conviction sets in! Conviction is the holy spirits way of letting us know we were WRONG! Do you feel your's anywhere? I feel mine in my stomach. I can't eat. I feel horrible and don't recover for days even after amends have been made.

Now what?! Well obviously we need to admit we were wrong. We might need to apologize to someone and talk to the Lord about what we've done. Seek forgiveness. Hard enough for you? YES! Next: Do Not Wait! Unconfessed sin is a toxic poison to us! It turns regular people into paranoid wackjobs! It comes between us and The Lord and our relationships. I'm sure you've seen it affect familes, jobs, and churches. So do it! Be quick about it!  After forgiveness is given everything goes back to normal right?

Not always. Sometimes our sins are more complicated and they affect us and our relationships for a period of time. Sometimes, even though we've been forgiven, the consequences are waiting. Would your kids be glad to know that discipline happens to adults? Not usually in the form of a spanking or grounding, but it surely happens.

Then (sometimes) comes something I'll call 'post op' guilt. We've been forgiven. We've dealt with the consequences. We've moved on. Then one day Satan says 'yeah you aren't over that'. 'You aren't forgiven'. Have you even lived with this 'post op' guilt? I have. For years! I was crippled by it! This 'post op' guilt affects relationships and it can affect our time with God. When we believe Satan's lies we can be just as crippled as if we hadn't of sought forgiveness in the first place!

The whole point comes down to this: Camp on Forgiveness. Stay there as long as you need to. Daily reminders of forgiveness instead of daily confessions of the same sin. Don't live in the shadow of guilt that is no longer warranted!

One more thing; if you've given forgiveness to someone for an offense, Don't hang it over their head. Let the wonderful forgiveness and mercy wash over you both and enjoy the healing =)

Tax Season Gift

I hate Tax Season. My husband is a tax account. So from February till April 15 I call myself a widow.  The first year we were married it wasn't so bad, we didn't have kids yet. Now that we have 3 girls, I call my self a single parent. He gets home just in time to help tuck them into bed. They go CRAZY when he gets home. My parenting starts to slack. I don't feel like cleaning. We end up using a lot of paper plates. Wait, why am I complaining!? This is titled Tax Season Gift!? Ok here is the gift...

For years I've been saying I need to be better about praying. I could go days (and days) without even thinking about it. I don't rely on God the way I should, even when I'm participating in a bible study or doing good with my quiet times. I've always just had a hard time. So (when I thought about it) I'd pray that I would start praying like I need to. I prayed that I would NEED God to be apart of my every moments. I did not know what I was praying for. Are you all shaking your head at me right now right? It's just as bad as praying for patience or humility. You are going to get it alright!!! 

This Tax Season has been especially hard. A couple of Saturdays ago I was literally on the floor of my closet crying. Then I started crying out to God. And I haven't stopped. He has reminded me daily, some days hourly to call out to him. He has been my strength through numerous trials. Every morning I have my alarm set 10 minutes before I have to get up. I've been doing this for months. Well lately I've been using that 10 minutes to pray before I even get out of bed. Even if the girls have all climbed in bed with me.

I always thought that you had to be on your knees, alone, in the quiet of your closet in order to pray and to hear his answer. But as I read 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Pray without ceasing,

I realized it didn't say Cease and Pray. I don't have to stop doing dishes or folding laundry to ask for help, strength or self control.

So now that I know why I am going through this season of strife, I can surely endure it. I am actually appreciative of this hardship. I don't know if God will always let me know the reason I am going through something difficult. BUT I know I can trust him. And now that I am a Pro Pray-er in the making I can handle anything!